Danish Cucumbers

First you take the cucumber, make it nekked, and slice it reeeal thin.

Then, you layer the slices, dashing salt between each layer.

Squoosh the slices, using a bowl and a heavy item (the container of brown sugar is one possibility).

Eat some mint chocolate chip ice cream.

Pour out the liquid that has accumulated.

Drink some chocolate milk and watch an episode of Star Trek: Next Gen.

Pour out the liquid again.

Mix some sugar and some vinegar, almost equal parts (more sugar). Dash some dill on in there, and pour the whole kittenkabbodle (not made of actual kittens) over the slices. You will of course, have removed the brown sugar and the bowl.

Refrigerate. Wait. Keep waiting. Wait, like, forever. In order to make sure you wait long enough, you should make it in the evening, and make yourself wait until the next day. When you're craving the cucumbers of dilly deliciousness, the waiting is the most difficult part.

Waiting...

Waiting...

Waiting...