A Traumatic Story

For those of you who don't know me, I don't like having sticky fingers/hands. This is not just a little "oh that's unpleasant" sort of feeling, but a Full Blown OMGSTICKINESSGETITOFFGETITOFFI'MGOINGTODIE!!!! sort of feeling. 

The story begins innocently enough, at a waterfall. A beautiful waterfall, whose water falls in a way as to look like buttermilk. It was a warm day, so I moved into the shade to sit on a rock. This rock had some pine needles on it. Everything at this waterfall has pine needles on it. I scootched further back on the rock to get comfy, and sat there a while.

Then it was time to stand up and I did so and I brushed the pine needles off my pants. Swoosh, swoosh, pine needles removed from one side, swoosh, swoostick... eeewwww. I had sat full on in pine goop and then swooshed my hand straight into it. "Sap" I believe it is called. "EW EW EW STICKY" is what I call it until it has been made into maple sugar candy or syrup or some such. When it is on my hand it is goop. And on my hand it was. Not just like, oh I have a drop of sap on my hand, but full on, across the palm side of the knuckles, pooling up goop. And it wouldn't come off in the waterfall. And I wasn't going to be able to go home and wash or change (despite my cries of "but I can feel it seeping through my pants!!").

So I learned that triple antibiotic ointment (specifically the oil in it) removes sap. Thanks to dad, I was able to function. Although I did nearly end up in tears before we found the solution. (Hint: Purell doesn't work it spreads the sticky all over your hands. Fortunately, I just did my palms, so the backs were clear.)

You'd think the problem would have passed. And for a few blissful hours, I began recovering from the trauma. My hands were cleaned (again, for extra measure) and I changed my pants. All was well. Until I discovered that my initial statement of "ahh, I can feel it seeping through my pants" was correct. To put it bluntly, my underwear was stuck to my butt. With no tripleA ointment in the cabin, I resorted to Vaseline, which also does the trick, but then you have Vaseline covering your butt and have to use a soapy washcloth and then you have soap on your butt so you use a wet washcloth and about this point you really wish the cabin had a full length mirror because you can't see what you're doing because you had TREE BLOOD stuck to your BUTT!

I'm recovering well now, fully sap-free and planning to stay that way, at least until I go back into the nature and it tricks me into rocky comfort again.