control issues

There are some things in life you can't control.
Like what day you find out about your job for next year. (Okay, yes, technically if I had sent in the last form earlier Iw ouldhave found out earlier, but let's ignore that little detail for now.)

There are some things in life you can control.
Like how you channel your energy from your stress from waiting to find out about your job for next year. (I'm cleaning my room!)

Then there are those things that you think you can control, but you can't.
Like the temperature of your dorm room. (You think you've gotten control of the thermostat, and then the outside temperature warms up to 24 degrees above zero (a difference of 48 degrees from what it was the last time you bothered to check) and you've lost control.)

Then there are those things that you think you can't control, but you can.
Like whether or not a person says offensive things around you. (You can control whether or not you let them say it without saying anything back, you can control whether or not you even hang out with them, etc.)

Then there are those things that you can only sort-of control.
Like what's for dinner. (You can't control what the Mensa serves, but you can control what you decide to eat... this evening, I had 3 chicken tenders, 1 chocolate chip pancake, 1 piece of stuffed crust sausage and ham pizza, several fries with icky MensaVinegar (they ran out of regular, so I had to use watered-down red wine vinegar), and peach green iced tea.)

Then there are those things you can control, but choose not to.
Like how many cafe & cocoas you have in a day. Even when they don't have good flavored coffees (raspberry, or vanilla nut, or white chocolate mocha decaf) and you have to go with regular Wartburg Coffee. (For those of you who don't know, a c&c is like a gentler mocha... half coffee, half cocoa. The best "treat" version is when they have the raspberry flavored coffee and you get it with white chocolate instead of dark.)

Then, there's Music. Music doesn't fit into those categories. Music is its own. Music is the transformation of air into emotion. Music is a fickle lover. Music is there one day, flowing through you like molasses in July, and gone the other, to visit other skies. Music makes your heart beat, in longing when you can't find it, and with passion when you do. Music is your search. Music is what you are really trying to find when you walk into the other room and can't remember what you went in there for. Music is unattainable when you try too hard, and ever-present when you think you want to concentrate on other things. Music, to put it simply, is.