an evening in the life

5pm
body arrives home
Me: Do you want dinner?
Belly: No.
Head: Ow.
Me: What.
Head: Owowowowowow.
Me: But do you want dinner? It's dinner time?
Belly: Seriously, no.
Head: Owwwwwww.
Me: I'll lie down.
Sofa: (squeek)
Ears: WHAT WAS THAT?
Me: Chill. The sofa squeeked.
Eyes: Turn. Off. The. Light.
Feet: I dun wanna.
Me: gets up and turns off light.
Ears: Why are they jackhammering outside?
Me: It's rain.
Head: But it hurts me.
Me: realizes what's happening, gets an excedrin and chocolate milk, returns to sofa
Body: So sleeeepy....

cut to 7pm
Head: All better! Wake up!
Me: Okay. Do you want dinner?
Belly: Stop asking me that, you're being annoying.
Me: Whatever.

cut to 9pm
Belly: FEEED ME!
Me: Dude, it's too close to bed time.
Belly: Feeeeeed me foooood!
Me: I have green beans. You want green beans?
Belly: I want steak and mushrooms and garlic bread.
Me: I have pasta. You want pasta?
Belly: I want fillet mignon wrapped in bacon and cheesy mashatatoes and chocolate cake.
Me: I have pumpkin pie. You want pumpkin pie?
Belly: You are not listening to me.
Me: It's 9pm. It's nearly bedtime. Even if I had that food, if I gave it to you, you would kill me in my sleep.
Belly: Yes. Yes, I would.
Me: *blink*
Belly: I want steak and cheesy mashatatoes.

end scene